sometimes i really hate being a pushover. i mean, i think i'm nice, but i really just let people use me like a doormat of some sort?? i've always wanted to be nice, but it's just impossible to make everyone happy. . .
why is it so hard to say no? (wow hamilton references) why can't i just say, 'i don't want to do this' or 'i want this'
why is that so hard? i always feel like i'll somehow end up making this person mad, i always think everything through before i say it . . . and when i think it's perfect, it's too late.
'vine, why can't you ever stand up for yourself?'
do you know how many times i've asked myself this? why can't i choose for myself? why am i having an existential crisis at 12?
i'll try to stand up for myself now. yEAH. i'll tell people what i want :D I'll tell them that I don't want to do something they want.
--oh, also, if I've ever hurt you, please do tell me. I must apologize my heart out before being erasing the mat part out of my doormat personality