"It can cure moderate to even severe arm pain! Side effects include suicidal thoughts or actions, vomitting, shortness of breath, neck pain, inability to breathe, severe leg pains, stomach aches, headaches, death, reanimation as an undead zombie, blahblahblahblahblahblahblahblahblah."
But really, besides "death" and "reanimation," those are pretty much the side effects listed.
Like, you know your commercial is bad when people go from not knowing anything about your product to "Remind me to never buy this if my arm is in pain."
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And as You speak
A hundred billion galaxies are born
In the vapor of Your breath the planets form
If the stars were made to worship so will I