Thank you all. I some of it helped, some of it didn’t, but thank you. I like to know that despite everything, there are people out there who care.
*looks at cookie* I don’t think I deserve this. Mostly because it’s Girl Scout Cookie season and I’ve eaten a lot already. Anyhow, I do talk to some people about it. It’s just that one of them is a bit...over affectionate, and besides that, I feel awkward talking IRL but her mom reads her texts. One of them has a much worse life than me and I feel so terrible complaining to her. And my best friend...for starters, she lives on the other side of the world. On top of that, she really doesn’t understand. Or maybe it’s that I don’t understand her. Or maybe it goes both ways. Anyhow, I’ll see her and talk to her for the first time IRL in 3 years in May...can’t wait…
Thank you so much for the support. Also, by sneak on, I meant that I shouldn’t have this account. In March or so last year, I forgot exactly when and am too lazy to check, my parents found out that the forums were for actual posting (I have no idea what else they could have thought) and said I had to stop posting. My old account was on my mom’s email, since I made it before I got one of my own, which is the real reason I switched accounts, not because I forgot my password or anything.
I can’t tell them anything...they’ll yell at me so much...and it’s not that I have trouble with homework. Um...I usually don’t say this kind of stuff, and I’m sorry if this is bragging, but I kind of have all the honors classes available at my school and still have all A+’s...so evidently, I’m pretty smart. It’s just that...even if I don’t have much homework from school, my mom comes up with something else for me to do, and I’d much rather do homework than anything she comes up with, so homework takes up my life since I try to do it slow and spread it out.
Thanks...I think that’s actually exactly what I needed. Actions sometimes speak louder than words, do they not?
Thanks. If I need help, I’ll know where to look. And know that if you need help, you can look to me.
Thank you. As I said above to other people, though, I can’t tell them anything, and I doubt they’d care even if I did.
(Life doesn’t necessarily go on.) Um...I didn’t say anything. Anyhow, thank you very much. I will remember. (Too late for the not-getting-hurt-by-it-physically thing.) Ignore that too.
*goes through list* Thanks. I do love lists...they’re so neat and logical and stuff. I’m religious, but I don’t pray, because...well, I believe that you affect the world and what happens by yourself, and that the will of animals (and humans are animals) cannot be changed by even an all-powerful God. My mom doesn’t like me listening to music. Also, this is super weird, but the less I sleep, the less tired I am the next day. The best amount of time for me is actually around 5 hours. Not to mention the fact that I’m sleepier during the day and more awake at night. As for rereading favorite books...I don’t think I could get through that, because I’ve read my favorite books so many times that...well, I can’t even remember how many times I’ve reread them. And for journals, I don’t write down my feelings, because then someone can find them. Thank you, though. (Wait, I already said that.) Reading does help calm me down or make me happier (until my mom tells me to stop reading garbage).
There are people who have it MUCH worse than me, so bad that you don’t even want to know, so bad that you’d be scarred for life if you did know (and just think about living that life if you’re scarred from knowing about it).
Thank you. I’m happy to know that even if my IRL life goes to ****, I’ll still have people there for me.
Don’t be sorry - you did nothing wrong. Anyways, yes, I do have hobbies, but I can’t get the motivation to do them.
That’s fine...I can’t really comfort people, so I know how you feel.
I’m very happy for you! Keep it up and maybe you and your mom will have a really great relationship! (Everything I do, though, my mom gets irritated at me for, or she doesn’t let me do it because “I won’t stick to it”)
Can’t buy books - all my money is a bunch of state quarters and currency from my country of origin from what my grandparents give me when they visit/what I get at celebrations. Besides that point, none of my friends live near me, and if they do, I don’t know where they live (the closest one whose place of residency I know lives a mile or so away). Also, if I were to randomly run outside...I’d probably be kicked out of the house for good. I’m not even allowed in the yard alone, you see...And, as I said to many people, I can’t talk to them. I’ll be sent to a mental hospital. (Actually, my mom says I’m mental anyways.) And, as I said to Mist, I shouldn’t even have this account. (I don’t even like rainbows and sparkles.) Thank you for the support. I participate in school stuff a lot, though, so the counselors know me, meaning it would make for awkward conversation, and I can’t go to any other counselor. Books really do help. More than friends, in my opinion, because books can’t walk off. (And I don’t have any pets.) *reads next post* YES YES YES HORSES ARE AWESOMENESS *runs around screaming* and I asked my mom for horseback riding lessons multiple times but she said no and no is final. :( My dream...is to ride horses and become an author/book editor. For the first part, my hopes of starting before becoming an adult are dashed. As for the second, I can’t summon the motivation. Thank you for all of this, though.
Thank you. I will remember.
@Nightblaze-I mean, Pen-I mean, Cobalt-I mean, Icarus (I’m fairly sure I missed a nickname somewhere in there)
Thank you. Yes, it really does help to rant. I’d actually just type stuff up and then delete it, but it only works when people actually read it and reply.
Fynn! I haven’t seen you in so long! I think it’s because you switched accounts...hi! Thank you very much. I hope you’re better/you get better soon as well.
*sigh* I think your post actually made me calm down a lot. I don’t know what exactly it was, it just made me...feel. It helped me cry. I’d grown so immune to crying that the only times I’ve cried in the past month or two were when I thought about how my best friend moved away and hasn’t seen any of us (me and my IRL friends) in nearly 3 years, and when I lost a friend. I just feel so ungrateful and selfish all the time, but I guess it’s human nature to want, and I can’t stop it. You’re right. I shouldn’t...torture myself. Thank you.
Erm. I’m 99.99% certain that will not help my situation at all. And I’m 75% certain that will make it worse. Despite everything, I may not love them, but I still want them to be okay. I don’t hate them. There’s only one person in this world who I hate - she’s the girl who was so bad, she triggered my depression. I know I have to do something, I just don’t think that’s the right way. Sorry. Thank you, though. Why are you on a silent strike? (Sorry, haven’t been on much these past few days.)
I hope life gets better for you! I...don’t really have a way, and I’m holding out on it because of the possibilities too, and there are people, I have friends who depend on me, but please don’t think that for yourself. If you need someone, you can come to me.
I wish you the best of life! (and luck)
I haven’t seen you in a (REALLY) long time either! (I don’t even know if you remember me…) As I’ve said to Mist and someone whose name I do not remember at the moment, my mom doesn’t even know I have this account. I used to actually be a lot less emotional, but I got to the point that even with that, I just broke. Depression took over my mind. And now, I’m the same from the outside, but inside I’m pretty emotional. I get you about the homework thing though...also, I can’t say I have ADHD, so I’m in no place to compare, but I do have...not the best attention span (unless I’m reading an interesting book) and I honestly just zone out in class...but maybe you shouldn’t do that...cuz then the teacher calls on me and I take a painful ten seconds or so to process what they’re saying before answering....
@Person who reported this or something similar
Don’t worry, I’m not planning on doing...that anytime soon.
This took a long time. Time I should have spent doing homework...That doesn’t matter.
Thank you all for everything you said. You’ve really helped.