If you don't really want to know how I feel, don't read this.
It's all a mask. IRL I act so positive and fine. I'm not. I'm a bubble of self-conciousness and fear and doubt and hurting. That friend is so jealous it hurts. She's trying to hurt me. Emotional and physically. I am trying to get out. I can't. Because of memories. Memories of when I was truly fine. I need friends. I've just realized that's what I really need. I've never had a true friend. I'm so desperate.
That friend, at ballet, we're doing a dance with umberllas. She's right behind me in a cirlce, turning to poke me with the sharp edges. I tilt my umbrella she she doesn't. I get yelled at by the teacher. I'm so fragile I'm going to break the next time someone yells.
I'm yelled at by my parents. All the time. I go into my room, cry, tell myself someone else has it worse. Get up. Build myself back up. Refuse to be weak. But I am.
Can someone help?
It's all I need
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A cry I can’t say
A voice I can’t use
A song I can’t sing
Words I can’t say
Build up and up
Making a wall
I can’t break down