Hi, I'm Eureka and most of you have probably noticed that I'm the queen of insecurity and self-hatred. I was just thinking about this the other day and I don't know, I just wanted to say this to some people [mainly irl people, but I can't exactly address a huge group like this irl, and I'm sure you all know someone who might find this relevant in some way].
Let the ramble begin.
Some parts of this are directed at people like me, who sometimes literally can't fathom why someone would want to talk to them or be around them.
Some parts of it are directed at people who don't understand what we're thinking and feeling, and I'm not sure which parts are which so don't ask.
Most of the time, when a generally insecure person is beating themself up or talking down on themself or having trouble accepting a compliment, it's not a cry for attention, and they aren't fishing for more compliments. They genuinely believe that about themself.
I can't ever take a compliment, because in my eyes, whoever is complementing me usually seems to just be lying to my face, or maybe they're just delusional- because why else would they compliment me?
Logically, I know that isn't true and I know that they really mean it and they're probably in their right mind, but it's nearly impossible for me to emotionally and mentally believe it.
Sometimes that can make us look narcissistic or manipulative, because sometimes we aren't great at subtly deflecting compliments and sometimes we aren't great at voicing our feelings about ourselves in ways that let others understand what we truly do think.
I'm not saying "so compliment us a lot because we need it!!" or "so never call us out when we really do mess up, because that'll hurt us!!".
Yes, more compliments would always be nice- anyone, regardless of their self-esteem, would like to be complimented.
And yes, being called out can hurt our feelings sometimes, but it still has to be done.
We don't need [and we usually don't want] special treatment just because of our insecurities.
That said, and I know the thought of this makes some of you very anxious and scared, but with that said, always try to compliment someone if you genuinely like something about them.
Common things ["I like your shirt." or "Your hair looks good."] are great, but if you have a more unusual compliment for someone ["I love your speaking voice." or "Your handwriting is awesome."], try to tell them that too- although I understand why something like that would be harder to say.
This kind of goes back to what I said earlier about not needing special treatment because of emotional problems, so I guess go reread that part if you need to, idk.
If you need to call someone out, or correct them, or point out that they did something wrong in any way, always do it nicely and politely. NO. MATTER. WHO. THEY. ARE. OR. HOW. YOU. FEEL. ABOUT. THEM.
I'm going to stop now because usually I'm just the quiet kid in the back of the room but sometimes a Strong Opinion™ gets out and I usually start ranting and I don't want to do that, so thanks for reading I guess
how do you end these things
tl;dr, always be as nice as you can to everyone, and people who badmouth themselves or can't take compliments usually completely believe what they're saying.
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moved to @thankfulthunderstorm1 :D