((to be read with Trndsttr (Lucian Remix) by Black Coast))

((also if you're wondering I said a week, I never specified if it was a business week))

((it actually hurt more to be away from here because I feel safe and loved here)


friend #1
heyyy! how are you?


friend #2
yo! good


starry is typing...


//you're brought into a picture of a teenage girl's bedroom. the girl is staring at her phone in the complete dark.
//upon a closer look, you can see the evidently exhausted expression upon her phone-light illuminated face. there are massive bags under her eyes, her skin is uncared for, and she looks extremely sleep-deprived. she's completely hunched over and her posture is heinous. her hair seems slightly greasy, and her clothing looks like it needs washing.
//her fingers fly over the keyboard and starts to type out something.
//once you look at the message she's about to send, it reads "i'm mentally dying"
//her finger hovers above the "send button" but then she deletes the message and retypes something.
//"i’m fine"
//sent
//she opens the notes app and starts to type one sentence over and over
//"i want to delete myself"


~~~~~~~~


so uh
i haven’t been ok lately
for a lot of reasons
i...fell in love a while back with a girl. i felt she understood me better than anything. she was kind, sweet, caring, and we would listen to each other rant all of the time.
we'd talk every day, every night, when i was traveling and she had insomnia i would chat with her. she would make me feel important, like i mattered in this world.
we were talking one day and started to vent to each other and something...she told me something important. i’m not gonna say it because it would be sharing too much about her.
we started to fight. i was super concerned and my concern got the better of me.
we haven’t talked since. i’ve apologized countless times.

oh hey haha, guess I’m coming out now? I'm a bisexual 

 

you're probably not wondering what i meant by "she made me feel important" but i’m gonna tell you anyways.
i have the largest amount of self worth problems you can imagine. i hate my art, my writing, my singing, my ideas, and myself.
every thing i say is wrong. every note i sing is wrong. every word i write is wrong.
everything I am is wrong. 
yet somehow, in real life, i’m popular
i have a life people would fight me for
i move constantly, i’ve seen all of these places no one has
people naturally flock to me, if i was somewhere, they would know
people call me perfect, all because i sacrifice my sanity to do these things
they say i’m “talented” and kids have told me they want to be like me when they get older
am i really?
i’m a trendsetter, a paper girl, nothing more than that

 

i don’t deserve any of this

this praise, this life

i'm really whiney
i’m a crybaby
my emotions get in the way of everything
i'm weak
i want to scream
i want to cry
i listen to everyone, who's listened to me?
when i’ve stood up for them, who stood up for me when i was suffering?
answer: no one
if no one cares, that's okay
i’ve endured bullying before, i’ll go through it over
and over
and over
and over
until i’m dead
no one should listen to me
no one should care
why do you care?
why do you care so much about a face behind a username?
what am i to you?
is it because i provide sandboxes for you to build castles in?
am i a source of entertainment? a target for you to shoot over and over?
what am i?
who am i?
what's my name?
i’ve lost myself
to the copycats, to the bullies
to life

 

lol anyways enough about me, the angst level in this was ridiculously cringey. how's everyone? did anything major happen while i was gone? any new development for ggad or smthn?
did anyone care that i left?

tl;dr:
- i fell in love with a girl and she and i fought

- I’m bi (did not expect to come out in this but welp *shrugs*)
- i have extreme self-worth issues and hate myself
- i feel like i don’t deserve anything
- who am i
- i’m back haha lol what's up

 

mods please, please let this through 

 

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

*hugs*

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  SPECTER

~ They/them ~ Nerdy friendo ~

 

Fight!

The universe calls.

Let the star's light

Refract into the night.

After all,

This world's never

truly dark.

 

+*~Believe~*+

hi again *hugs*

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

up

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

Starry.....

 

 

 

I know I probably can't do much, since I'm just letters on a screen, but I will say this:

 

You can't tell yourself that

 

 

You are loved

 

 

People admire you because you are amazing

 

 

Don't think like that, because you won't succeed

 

 

You are one of the most creative people I've ever met

 

 

I'm so upset that you're thinking this way

 

 

Talk to people

 

 

It will get better

 

 

Trust me

 

 

Please don't give up

 

 

We've all been there, in that dark hole

 

 

I've been there

 

 

But I got out

 

 

You know how?

 

 

By never giving up

 

 

By never letting the voices get to me

 

 

Saying I was worthless, no one loved me

 

 

But I believed them

 

 

Until one day

 

 

When I decided to not listen

 

 

And everything got better

 

 

You just need to keep going 

 

 

This won't last forever

 

 

Unless you let it

 

 

Life isn't just about living

 

 

It's about loving

 

 

And being loved

 

 

And having fun

 

 

So let yourself live

 

 

 

 

I'm sorry for such a long post, I hope this did something.

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-=+Imagine+=-

-=+Iɯɐƃuǝ+=-

 

 

 

He/Him/Hubble

 

Joined 4/7/2017

6,004 stars

Gone 3/2019

 

The end is not merely the end, but a chance for new beginnings

 

i made that up on the spot wow it sounds good

 

why do I care? Because you clearly need help.

what are you to me? Someone on the internet who needs major help.
is it because you provide sandboxes for me to build castles in? No.
are you a source of entertainment? a target for you to shoot over and over? No.
what are you? A human.
who are you? A person who makes RPs.
what's your name? Starry. At least, that's your WoF name.

 

-hugs-

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 Lavender/Iria

ASLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,you'd make a great teacher.

 

My gang:Strawberry Shortcake, Plum Pudding, Lemon Meringue, Blueberry Muffin, Raspberry Torte, Ginger Snap

 

 

The world changes,nature shrivels but also blooms,yet we stay strong.

 

 

thanks guys, that made me smile

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

You're welcome.

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 Lavender/Iria

ASLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!,you'd make a great teacher.

 

My gang:Strawberry Shortcake, Plum Pudding, Lemon Meringue, Blueberry Muffin, Raspberry Torte, Ginger Snap

 

 

The world changes,nature shrivels but also blooms,yet we stay strong.

 

 

Please know you are not alone in feeling this way and that we are here for you

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owo Xenon owo

That really does sound like a wreck. I hope the break was helpful though! And take as many as you need

 

judging from the middle part, I guess this is more of a personal struggle. The first step would be to help yourself over anyone else. The others can't help you if you yourself do not believe you can be helped. 

 

If the stress really is too much, you need to tell someone. Taking off one activity now, at the expense of a couple of comments or complaints, is better than utterly collapsing later

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|| ENCHANTED ||

A secret place for me and you

Where everyday was fun and new

A simple time played in our heads

Well tell this story again

Refreshing, isnt it?

Lets breathe the air, try not to cry

Its time to say our goodbyes

*throws everything off the table and hugtackles Starry* 

 

I'm so sorry this happened to you and I know it may be hard, but there's always someone to be there for you, no matter how low it is or no matter how lost you are. 

 

Don't lose yourself, just because people tell you too. Don't feel bad, just because people persuade you that way. Listen to the positive, not the negative. *huggles*

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V E L L I C H O R

he/xe/they  

 

colourblind~system~anxious  

 

~fire dances in the moonlight~  

 

but what does the science say?

 

"It's been 3 hours

and we still don't know who's fronting"

 

being redesigned

thank you, guys

i've found more shelter here than I have in real life

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

Starry, so glad your back! It has not been the same... I smiled when I read you were back *huggles so hard Starry can’t breathe*

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N O V A

 

We’re all just puppets

Tangled in the strings of society 

 

Look around 

Don’t you see

We’re controlled

By society

I have no idea of any of my words can help you but

 

What Xenon says is true. Many of us suffer from self depreciation and the expectations of others

 

There's never a perfect person in this world. Having the willpower to do so many things, and still keep your sanity is virtually impossible. 

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|| ENCHANTED ||

A secret place for me and you

Where everyday was fun and new

A simple time played in our heads

Well tell this story again

Refreshing, isnt it?

Lets breathe the air, try not to cry

Its time to say our goodbyes

@Enchanted 

your words help a lot, trust me

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

Starry

 

You are loved. You make amazing FWRPs and RPs that I never would have thought of. You are a person that so many people care about. Can I tell you something?

 

In 2016 I had a best friend. In 2017, she left on a year long trip around Europe. And so did another friend. My remaining friends left me. I was lost. I rejoined this place. I made new friends, a grade younger than me. I Skyped that friend that left every possible chance. We laughed and I made her feel like she was back here, home. That year, I struggled through. I made fantasys where she came home early and was my best friend. She struggled, to. A foreign land, where basically no one spoke English. I counted down the weeks until she came home. From 50 al the way to a day. She came home. I was the first of her friends she saw. I was her best friend. Everything was perfect. That was, until school started. Her other friends, the "cool group" swarmed her. I was alone, again. My friends from 2017 were gone. One to a new school, another very far away. At school, I was nothing to her. Me and her, alone, I was everything to her. I clung to her at school. I'm detaching myself, slowly. Until she acceptes me. If she doesn't, on well. I can face the uncertain, I've done it before.  The only way I overcame it all was staying strong. That's what you need to do. That girl, her name on here is Sea-fire. Enough about me.

 

My point is, be strong. Even when the whole world want to bring you down, stay strong. People here are here for you. One last thing: 

 

"Promise me you'll always remember that you're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."- Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

 

You matter, Starry. Stay strong friend. You can overcome this. Believe 

 

(Mods, please let this through!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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{*}σεт{*}

 

ѕнєнєяѕριку ρσтαтσ

 

 

  ɪ ɴ ɴ ɪ ɪʟʟ

  ШΔTCH MΣ

 

 

 

 

@Violet

thank you so much, that helps

i'm sorry what you went through. if you ever need to vent or something please let me know, I’m here to listen

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

Thanks. It's good to know I helped and that someone here for me. I'm here if you ever need me, too

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{*}σεт{*}

 

ѕнєнєяѕριку ρσтαтσ

 

 

  ɪ ɴ ɴ ɪ ɪʟʟ

  ШΔTCH MΣ

 

 

 

 

Well Starry you beat me to it. I hope you feel better, and realize that there are people who care about you in this world, behind a screen, or in front of you. I don't know what to say, but I'm here for you.

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KARKAT

smol spoopy demon child

Zie/Zir Pronouns

Slytherin Pride

LGBTQA+

YOU DON'T GET THAT I AM BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY, FOREVER

We missed you. You are never just words on a screen. Behind every colorful letter is a person. An actual person. Some people tend to forget that. I do not believe anyone here is like that, but I've seen it too many times. Behind every forum post, or text message, or , screw it, everything (and I mean everything), is a person with their own life, their own problems, their own things going on in real life that sometimes can't be conveyed through this thing we call technology. We're glad you're back, Starry, and never forget that you also have a family here, full of people who appreciate everything you do, even everything not on the forum.

 

Did you eat a cinnamon roll for me? They sounded really delicious.

 

now that my awkward inspiring rant is over I'm just gonna*fist bumps Starry*

*face palms* I don't know what I'm doing so you can ignore this. I'm horrible at these uplifting things

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Long live the KING

 

 

Tomorrow dawns in darkness

 

 

Because I could not stop for death

he kindly stopped for me

The carriage held but just ourselves

and immortality

hey there my fren, I'm really glad to have you back (and I actually mean that)

so honestly I have no idea if this will do any good, but you've always (well, since you joined the forums) been such an encouragement to me and such a huge help when I was going through the same old self-hatred I've always dealt with

you posted on most of my angst threads and you told me that the things my brain was telling me about myself were wrong, and you told me that I was awesome and kind and creative, and that helped more than you'll ever know

and your thread called starry's advice for relaxing/healing/restoring mental health (credit to those who did this before) (which is at http://wingsoffire.scholastic.com/forums/topics/317920 for anyone who wants to check it out) also helped me so much that I copied it to my notes app in my phone so I could have it during future bad times

you really are an awesome person and we all genuinely believe that. all the great things that have been said about you are totally true and we all love you and will be here for you

*hugs*

also, I just want to put this out there: me and (I think it's safe to say) 99% of all the other forumers who don't support same-gender romance still love you and we don't like you any less for being bi (and this applies to all the lgbt+ people on here)

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eureka

moved to @thankfulthunderstorm1 :D

everyone, thank you so much

this has made me feel so much better, thank you

i just can't phrase my gratitude into words

you're all beautiful, colorful people who deserve the best in life

i want to make sure you're all okay, let me know if you need to talk someone or need a hug

thank you

ah, I’m crying over this now because this made me happy

thank you

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

@Violet

heyyyy my mom wrote out that exact quote for me the first time I told her I struggled with self-hatred

 

@Starry

post on the way

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eureka

moved to @thankfulthunderstorm1 :D

@eureka

oh my gosh, you copied that down? wow I feel honored, I really hope you're doing well now (also thank you for saying that I was half terrified of coming out)

 

@king

thank you so much, you made me smile, bless

 

 

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

No problem Starry! I'm glad I could help

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|| ENCHANTED ||

A secret place for me and you

Where everyday was fun and new

A simple time played in our heads

Well tell this story again

Refreshing, isnt it?

Lets breathe the air, try not to cry

Its time to say our goodbyes

@starry

haha yeah actually, I'm doing a lot better than I have in quite a while

(and yeah, that's something I've wanted to say for a while, so thanks for reminding me XD)

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eureka

moved to @thankfulthunderstorm1 :D

Welcome to the BIcycle it's nice to meet you

 

I'm bi too

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calytrix~

 

you could call me caly too, i guess

bisexual

kind of like if tony stark and loki had a child 

hates turtles 

slytherin//entp

you know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start, so dance alone to the beat of your heart

 

Don't worry about that Starry! There are plenty (or at least there used to be) of LGBTQ+ people here on the forums! Myself included. We would never tolerate discrimination against us :)

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|| ENCHANTED ||

A secret place for me and you

Where everyday was fun and new

A simple time played in our heads

Well tell this story again

Refreshing, isnt it?

Lets breathe the air, try not to cry

Its time to say our goodbyes

@Starry-

Did you come out to anyone but the forums as bi? I assume you did but I don't know

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KARKAT

smol spoopy demon child

Zie/Zir Pronouns

Slytherin Pride

LGBTQA+

YOU DON'T GET THAT I AM BETTER AND SMARTER THAN YOU IN EVERY WAY, FOREVER

@Eureka: My parents gave me a coaster with that quote on it for my birthday.

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{*}σεт{*}

 

ѕнєнєяѕριку ρσтαтσ

 

 

  ɪ ɴ ɴ ɪ ɪʟʟ

  ШΔTCH MΣ

 

 

 

 

@Nyx

yes I have

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

@Nyx

yes, I’ve come out to my closest real life friends, I haven’t come out to my TAB but I’ve come out to my family. 

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

STARRRY STARRRYYY STARRYYYYYY STARYYYYYYY

 

 

I MISSSEDDDDDDD YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! *Tackle hugs*

 

You're like a sister to me. It was pretty hard hard for me when you were gone.

 

I honnestly didn't want to make a thread about how I felt because I knew it would

 

probably sound childish and I didn't want to discourage you on your choice so I

 

just kept it to myself. You're like a sister to me. :3

 

 

 

 

YAYYYYYYYYYY YOURRRRRR BACKKKKKKKK *Huggles again* Now..... MAKE ARIAXEL HAPPEN. >:3 MY SHIPPP WILL LIVE ONNN

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ᴛoffee

ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏɴʀᴏʟʟ

ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴋᴏ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ

ᴏʙsᴇssɪᴠᴇ sʜɪᴘᴘᴇʀ & ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴏғ ʙᴏʙᴀ

ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ ʙʜ/ᴅʙ

 ᴊᴀᴅᴇ, ɪғ ɪ’ᴍ ᴀ ᴡᴀʟɴᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴍᴏɴᴅ.”

 ”I’M A WALNUT WITH PASSION.”

 Marine’s a Banan

Spoopy Child

Starry, even though we haven't talked on here, I'd like to say that we do care. You've helped so many on the forums by making them smile, by helping them. The least we can do is help you in some little way. To care about you.

 

I know how you feel, I've been there before. It's not great, it's horrible in actuality. But the only thing you can do is keep going, keep striving for something better. And, eventually, you'll reach that point if you keep on working towards it. 

 

And hey, if you ever need to vent or ask for help or someone to listen again, we'll be there for you. 

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~Lector~

...Sanetra ate this part of my siggy

 

On the plus side, you passed the course. Unfortunately, you broke my floor. Again. -Trainer

 

#SunnyLickedAQibli

#RememberTheLost

#TheBerriesShallRule

#NoMoreDeadFousts

 

It's been an honour.

Also, Starry If you ever feel like you need to talk we are always here for you. :)

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ᴛoffee

ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏɴʀᴏʟʟ

ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴋᴏ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ

ᴏʙsᴇssɪᴠᴇ sʜɪᴘᴘᴇʀ & ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴏғ ʙᴏʙᴀ

ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ ʙʜ/ᴅʙ

 ᴊᴀᴅᴇ, ɪғ ɪ’ᴍ ᴀ ᴡᴀʟɴᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴍᴏɴᴅ.”

 ”I’M A WALNUT WITH PASSION.”

 Marine’s a Banan

Spoopy Child

*That moment you realize you put "YOU ARE LIKE A SISTER TO ME" two times without noticing*

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ᴛoffee

ʟᴏᴄᴀʟ ᴄɪɴɴᴀᴍᴏɴʀᴏʟʟ

ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴋᴏ ǫᴜᴇᴇɴ

ᴏʙsᴇssɪᴠᴇ sʜɪᴘᴘᴇʀ & ʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ᴏғ ʙᴏʙᴀ

ᴘʀᴏᴜᴅ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ ᴏғ ʙʜ/ᴅʙ

 ᴊᴀᴅᴇ, ɪғ ɪ’ᴍ ᴀ ᴡᴀʟɴᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴀʟᴍᴏɴᴅ.”

 ”I’M A WALNUT WITH PASSION.”

 Marine’s a Banan

Spoopy Child

That’s really brave. I hope it all went ok :)

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|| ENCHANTED ||

A secret place for me and you

Where everyday was fun and new

A simple time played in our heads

Well tell this story again

Refreshing, isnt it?

Lets breathe the air, try not to cry

Its time to say our goodbyes

hnnnn

thank all of you guys 

you're all so amazing 

sheesh what did I do to deserve you

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Oh No, It's Riri

Hello, hello

I need you here

Alone I wait

Will you appear?

{causing chaos since 2018 | trying to become active}

(also the creator of diamond bay)

Everyone deserves cheering up when they're sad and upset

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-=+Imagine+=-

-=+Iɯɐƃuǝ+=-

 

 

 

He/Him/Hubble

 

Joined 4/7/2017

6,004 stars

Gone 3/2019

 

The end is not merely the end, but a chance for new beginnings

 

i made that up on the spot wow it sounds good

Oh not again

 

 

 

 

Well, I guess we all have the same problems

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Just call me...

CW.

Or Charles Wallace