I'm not brave.
I'm scared to make mistakes
No matter what it is, if there's the smallest chance that I could mess it up, I try to sit it out.
I do- did, hopefully, something that I'm ashamed of, because of this fear.
Most of the time recently when I've seen a post on here talking about how hard things have been for one of you, or horrible problems you have, whatever it is when you need help, and when I'm not sure what to say, I don't say anything.
I'm scared of making it worse. I'm scared of saying something that I can't take back and hurting one of you more than it already hurts. That isn't an excuse, but it was my reason.
I was praying tonight, and I asked God for bravery. Specifically, the bravery to respond to these messages instead of turning away. Immediately, the realization of what I had, or hadn't done, hit me like a sledgehammer. It felt like I had heard my closest friend crying in the bathroom, then turned and walked away before she knew I was there, unseen and uncaring, and only realized what I'd done afterwards. I was overwhelmed with guilt for all of the friends I've left alone.
I need to apologize for this, whether you feel like it's a big deal or not. To me, it feels like I've hurt people, even if they don't know it. I need to work to change that, and it starts with an apology.
I promise to do better. I'm not going to turn down a friend in need again.
God bless you guys.
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And oh, there is no power on Earth, or below
That could ever break our hearts Or shake our souls
And when you Lay Me Down you'll only bury bones
'Cause oh, my heart and soul are going home