Is this good?

Chapter 1.

Queen Auklet held her egg protectively, rocking it back and forth as a faint chirrup echoed inside the shell. It was a calm, yet busy day in the Summer Palace. A heir to the throne; the only heir Queen Auklet would have, she had told them, as she didn’t want to take the place of Ex-Queen Oasis, was about to be born. Queen Auklet clicked her claws on the shell, and a loud, alarmed screech echoed back. “Oh no, shh..” Queen Auklet pleaded in Aquatic, spreading her wings wide, ready for flight. There was another loud screech, and about six royal guards tumbled in and appeared at Queen Auklet’s sides. Frowning, Queen Auklet drummed her claws on the egg again, and there was a loud purr in response. A scarred guard turned towards Queen Auklet, a sour look on her face. “Little cousin, my father was a commander of the War of SandWing Succession. And I’m stuck being a babysitter with these squid brains.” the guard argued in Aquatic, but Queen Auklet raised her talon fiercely for quiet. “Moray,” Queen Auklet sighed, bubbles floating out of her snout. She held the egg close to her chest. “Uncle Shark was my mother’s brother, whom she felt was.. suited for the position, let’s say that. And you..” Queen Auklet‘s stripes dimmed, as she trailed off in awkward silence. The guard, supposedly the daughter of Commander Shark, gritted her teeth. “Finish that sentence.” her scales flashed in an unhappy, slow pace. “Oh, hush up you squid brain,” Queen Auklet told Moray, a deep growl in reply. “You are too protective of me,” Queen Auklet teased, twacking Moray in the hip. “Haven‘t you got a place to be? A dinner to attend? A dragonet to care for?” Queen Auklet asked the guards, smiling sweetly. The guards looked to one another, puzzled looks on their faces. “But isn’t the King going to be..” one started, a worried look on their face. “Mad?” Queen Auklet guessed, chuckling softly until she saw the guard nod, like it was obvious. “Oh,” Queen Auklet paused, unsure if she just saw a joke or not. Moments passed, then Queen Auklet furrowed her brow and let out a gulp of air she had been holding for a while. “I suppose he can be a little cross sometimes, yes, and a little frustrated, but right now he’s just in the throne room relaxing. He won’t shout at you this time.” Queen Auklet told him, a weak smile on her face. But instead, the guard cringed as if King Reef had done a little more than just shout at him sometimes. “I’ll remember to speak to him about this.” she flashed, sighing. The guard gave a weak smile back, then hurriedly led the other guards out of the hatchery. Moray turned to glare at Queen Auklet one more time before disappearing into the hallway with the group. Queen Auklet curled up in the large hole that a statue of Princess Orca once stood in, clutching the shell closer to her chest. Suddenly, a crack appeared at the top of the egg. “By all the moons!” Queen Auklet gasped, bubbles rising to the top of the hatchery. “King Reef!” Queen Auklet‘s stripes flashed ever so brightly, repeating his sentence until a head lazily poked itself into the hatchery. “What do you want?!” King Reef flashed furiously, then immediately saw the egg and snapped back to attention. He soared over to the hole and curled up beside Queen Auklet, touching a talon to the egg as it broke apart. A newborn SeaWing with dim emerald scales fell onto the marble floor, cleanly polished by the most skilled SeaWing janitors. “He’s adorable.” Queen Auklet gushed, gliding over to the dragonet. King Reef seemed ordinarily unamused; nothing really excited him. “Shes so plain, so dull, so gloomy looking.” King Reef observed unhappily, but Queen Auklet ignored him. “Aren’t you precious, my little dragonet.” Queen Auklet cooed, gently stroking her scales with her claws. “You and this pathetic, unqueenly child of mine are a waste of time.” King Reef huffed, storming out of the hatchery. Queen Auklet scooped up her daughter, cradling it delicately. “Don’t worry,” Queen Auklet told the dragonet. “I’ll keep you safe.” she added, then put the dragonet back onto the ground. “I’ll call you Octopus.”

 

Please let this through, moderators! PLEASE!

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

This is most definitely not my best writing (with some grammar mistakes) but WHATEVER.

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

I really like this so far bookmark 

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Andromeda

 

 

Blobfish and Plants Society  

 

»Snazziest Nerd on the Block«  

 

My world's on fire

how 'bout yours?

 

July 10, 2016 - March 29, 2019

It's really good! Can't wait for the next part.

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People call me by many names, Liyo, is one.

I.      

 

 When you feel like giving up on life, find what you’ll die for and live for it.

Okay!

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

I still don’t know what bookmark means. Does it mean you want your name included in the story?

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

Bookmark means that you want the thread to have a place in the My Posts thing, like putting a bookmark into a book to save that page

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Andromeda

 

 

Blobfish and Plants Society  

 

»Snazziest Nerd on the Block«  

 

My world's on fire

how 'bout yours?

 

July 10, 2016 - March 29, 2019

AWWW I LOVE THIS

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+|+ Compass +|+

     Slytherin

Panromantic

Once you post on a forum, it goes into “My Posts”. Bookmarking is just posting so you can get to it without having to swim through a sea of threads. 

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~~Crow~~

~~Yes, the small, loud bird~~

Forum Twin: Prisma

Codemaker Codebreaker

Deity of Thieves and Flight~

 

Joined February of 2018

Star Count: 278

 

~The Extroverted Author~

 

Travel light and see the world right

You'll never know if you never go

That was supposed to be the Prologue, by the way.

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

Why'd she marry Reef? He kinda sounds like a jerk.

 

It's still a good story, I hope to read the rest of it.

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 ~Ia Vamporizer~

Joined forums 10/15/18

He/him

Agnostic

"It's always easier to say hello than goodbye."

Forum sisters: Astra, & Dazzle.

"Ya'll just got VAMPORIZED!" 

When the

world

comes

to

take

all of

us,

then

we

are 

free

King Reef reminds me too much of Tyrant King Dawnbreaker Of The ObsidianWings...

 

other than that side note its pretty good.

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Nimarfira (Nightfire) of the Obsidian Wings

 

He/Him

 

A lost, legendary dragon. 

 

Treasured: Stormbringer, Vegan, Pluto

 

Forum Fam: Jacquelyn, Glamour, Kitsune, Deisma

 

"Why do we have to bow if the cause doesn't aid us?" ~Noctu Igne of The Oracle~

 

Thank you! The next chapter will be out soon! (These are all names of my OCs, please don’t steal any of them.)

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

the one thing you need to change is the BOLD TYPE it kindas hert my eyes to read story is great thoght keep up the amazing work

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THORSTEN III

OWNER OF DU BIG Inc.

FANWING4EVER

WHEN WILL SCHOOL END

Mistakes do not show weakness for if you have failed you have learned 

BE YOURSELF NOT SOMEONE ELSE

@Ia Vamporizer, she married Reef because Queen Coral convinced Auklet to marry him because “he’s a good match for you,” as she had told her.

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

Um, I have an OC named Octopus... 

 

It's a really good story!

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Cloudburst

 

1 universe

9 planets

7 continents

195 countries

7 seas

 

And had the 

privilege

of meeting you.

 

ForumSisters: Cat & Glamour

@Cloudburst

Who doesn't tbh

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Andromeda

 

 

Blobfish and Plants Society  

 

»Snazziest Nerd on the Block«  

 

My world's on fire

how 'bout yours?

 

July 10, 2016 - March 29, 2019

Warning! Blood! Violence! Take caution!

 

Chapter 1.

Octopus flew through the fat, fluffy white clouds, feeling the salty breeze whoosh past her. Spreading her wings wider, she soared through the air and swooped below yet another cloud, clearly showing off. Her scales didn’t shine like another SeaWing’s, though, as to why, she didn’t know. Her three younher sisters — Kraken, Tidalwave, and Trout — were trailing behind her. Queen Auklet and King Reef were talking in hushed, stern voices in front of Octopus, sending nervous glances back at their children as if to check they didn’t hear anything. And Aunt Tamarin and Anemone had their tails twined with each other, a pearl ring shining on each of their talons. What was Octopus doing? She didn’t exactly know, as she dove straight down to the crystal clear sea, dipping her wing in the cool water. “Show off!” Trout hissed loudly from afar, but Octopus didn’t hear her as she ducked her head underwater and threw out her large wings, slowly floating to the bottom of the water. Soon three splashes echoed from above, and Octopus swiveled around to face her sisters. “Where are you going, you dim dragon?” Trout flashed brightly, but she was jabbed in the chest by Kraken’s elbow. “Stop picking on Octopus!” Kraken flashed back, obviously defending my beautiful dim-ness. Tidalwave just hid under her wings, cowaring from the fight. Tidalwave hated fights. She doggy-paddled back up to the top of the water, but Trout yanked her down. With a yelp, Tidalwave threw a pained glare in Trout’s direction, and decided to duck under the ruins of a sunken scavenger ship. “You’re so shy and introvert, you brainless squid!” Trout flashed. Kraken bowed her head and sighed. “Trout, sometimes you’re just.. so..” Kraken’s stripes paused mid-flash. “Sometimes you’re as tough as Moray,” Kraken finished, earning an ugly frown from Trout. Tidalwave crouched lower behind a scavenger steering wheel. This was her chance. Kraken, Tidalwave, and Trout weren’t looking. This was her chance. Octopus lifted herself, then disappeared into a tunnel.

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

The warning is for the next chapter, kind of saying that if you don’t like violence or blood or stuff, this story may not be one you want to get into.

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

@Everyone, it didn’t go through. :c

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

The Real Chapter 1.

I stared out his bedroom window as waves crashed onto the wet palace. Grandma Coral had just finished building a new Summer Palace that was above land, and it was smothered with saltwater almost immediately. It was storming, and I couldn’t sleep all night. Thunder crackled outside, and I closed the silk curtains and lay down on my bed. My three younger sisters were huddled in their bed, whispering to each other. “Isn’t he.. odd?” Tidalwave murmered, clutching her sister. “His scales are so ordinary..” Kraken puzzled.

“And plain.” 

“And unusual.” they said in unison, nodding in agreement.

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

OMG I LUV IT SO MUCH can i help rite capter two?

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I GIVE FEELING TO THE WORLD

I HAVE THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD

I CAN GIVE YOU YOUTH

I CAN MAKE YOU OLD

I AM THE PROTECTOR OF MOTHER EARTH

 

 

Hehe I most definitely didn’t steal that name from you..

 

RUN! *Dashes out the exit door.*

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i am the

phøe|ñįx.

 •She/Her.

•FanWing4Ever.

•Forum Brothers- Domino, Zane, Cobra.

•Forum Sisters- Kaleidoscope, Kitsune, Jacquelyn.

•Forum Twin- M.N.

•Member of the “Forums Need to Stay” Campaign.

What are the obsidion wings. Are they part of a RP. or is it somthing im unawawer of in the series?

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THORSTEN III

OWNER OF DU BIG Inc.

FANWING4EVER

WHEN WILL SCHOOL END

Mistakes do not show weakness for if you have failed you have learned 

BE YOURSELF NOT SOMEONE ELSE

This is great! My one recommendation would be to space it out into multiple paragraphs, like for the prologue and the fake chapter one, it was all one paragraph. But it looks like you fixed this in the real chapter 1, so whatever!

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 -=+Deisma+=-

 

  She | her | SandWing

 

Forum sibs: Zane, Prism, Jacquelyn,

         Glamour & Nimarfira

 

"We arnot doing get help."

 

 "Take it in but don't look down,

         I'm on top of the world!"

 

 A Talon in Three Worlds: /353086

Interesting... can’t wait for the next chapter!

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People call me by many names, Liyo, is one.

I.      

 

 When you feel like giving up on life, find what you’ll die for and live for it.

I just realized that I wrote the similar thing last time... but it’s really good!

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People call me by many names, Liyo, is one.

I.      

 

 When you feel like giving up on life, find what you’ll die for and live for it.